Right now I'm needing inspiration. That's one thing I miss about switching majors, just having the pre-assigned time each week to be creative and get your hands dirty. I neglected it when I had it. I remember over thinking my assignments and obsessing over my work, spending 3 class sessions on an eye. I understand now what my professors were pushing me to do, just create. Not make a master piece, not create something to sell, shit...not even necessarily make something that would be considered good. Just create. Sometimes it's just the process that matters, the result is just the icing. I have so few instances where I can utilize that mentality these days.
When I was a child I used to sit at my kitchen table every morning before school and just draw, usually my dreams. It didn't matter what the drawing was, it was just the act of creating something that mattered. Something personal, something that was mine, and something that was real.
I haven't painted in over a year but I can recant in graphic detail the last (several) times I've sat in dive bars slamming shots of tequila within the last month.
I should change this.
I will change this.
Life is too short to spend time reflecting on the shit you didn't do, the things you've missed, and the steps you didn't take to make your mark on the world.
...Jesus Christ, I'm sounding like a motivational speaker.
Side note; I went to a "Leadership Conference" at UCSD today which consisted of about two hundred plus wide eyed, kitten heal slouchy boot wearing, prepubescent, sorority sisters learning the art of how to open a savings account and how to properly engage in small talk.
Why was I there?
Good question.
a real leader wouldn't have gone.....
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