Someone who shouldn't matter

This isn't even worth discussing, and yet it's been tearing me up inside all day.

I did this to myself
I knew all along it was wrong
I wanted it to be the fairytale
In my mind it would be perfect someday
even if we were just friends

I knew it was wrong
I knew he was wrong

But, God dammit..

FUCK!

Faith VS. Psychosis

I've been working a lot.
A lot
A lot.
I've been so tired I can hardly see straight by the end of the night.
14 hour days will do that to ya, I guess.

Maybe it's the exhaustion.
Desperation perhaps.
Despite my dyer sleep deprivation, I've noticed a driving force inside myself that has been keeping me going at times when I just want to quit. I've been feeling the presence of empowerment that I can't verbalize other than "Just doing it". Dragging my ass out of bed when I've had 4 hours of sleep and putting on my happy face. I'm proud of myself. I haven't been in a long time.

Am I still supposed to consider myself an atheist if I believe in myself?
I don't know
Either way

I'm on fire.

Bitter

Fuck you.
Yes you.
If my honesty hurt you it was only because I cared THAT MUCH.
If my words stung, it was because they were supposed to.
I hope you find someone who can accept you for who you are.
I hope you can find someone who doesn't try to push you to achieve your full potential.
I hope you find someone who is as pessimistic as you are.

cuz it ain't me babe...
It ain't me your lookin' for.

Time. Time is not on my side

And so, I say..

They say that timing is everything.

If that is the case, I have nothing

PRICK

MERCUTIO :You are a lover; borrow Cupid's wings, And soar with them above a common bound. ROMEO :I am too sore enpierced with his shaft To soar with his light feathers, and so bound, I cannot bound a pitch above dull woe: Under love's heavy burden do I sink. MERCUTIO :And, to sink in it, should you burden love; Too great oppression for a tender thing. ROMEO :Is love a tender thing? it is too rough, Too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like thorn. MERCUTIO :If love be rough with you, be rough with love; Prick love for pricking, and you beat love down.

A-Fine A-Fair

Photos from today's visit to the San Diego County Fair.


The Bella Mia






















Stupid (Brave) Idiots






















Tea Cups






















Hellova Machine






















Colorful/Enthusiastic foot massager






















The Tippy Top



Confessions of a workaholic

So I have had 1 day off over the past 15 days.
 I figure I've been working an average of 65-70 hours per week...
 I haven't been running,
 I haven't been dating,
 I haven't been frequenting the streets of Newport ave. at 2:00AM
and I haven't had a single moment for myself, really.

Does it sound like I'm complaining? Because, believe me, I'm not! I actually love working. I love pushing myself and testing my stamina. I love being proud of myself after a long day and taking pride in the money I earn. It's when I'm not working that I get concerned...

Not working=Bordom
Bordom=Tequila
Tequila=Trouble

Simple as that.

This week though, I've penciled in some much needed "me" time. After tomorrow, I have 3 days off in a row (including my first Friday off in over a year) and I'm going to spend it with my daughter...preferably at a beach.

I'm going to make time for my friends and go running every morning.

My running shoes are calling my name.
And this week, I'm answering.